Normal

Normal.  I'll never be 'normal' ever again.

I absolutely LOVE to fly fish.  I'm a member of a fly fishing board that is pretty rough around the edges.  But it is also full of some really good people.  There were several guys who showed up at Masons viewing that I had only met once before.  They drove a pretty good distance to come see Mason and I.  On the day of the funeral, another member showed up that I had only met once before, and he had another guy with him that I had never met.  Only bs'ed back and forth on the internet.  Those 2 came from over 100 miles!!!  And yet another came from a considerable distance to both the viewing and the funeral.

Not long after Mason had passed, I was at work.  My wife calls me and says I got something interesting in the mail today.  The envelope had no return address.  Where the return address should have been, it just said "********* Brethren".  Inside this envelope was a check for $1100, if I remember correctly.  I noted what bank it was from and I had a pretty good idea who was behind it.  They never confessed, but I thanked them all for their kind gesture.  It meant a lot.

That is a great bunch of guys.  In the short time that I have known them, they have done a lot for me.  I'll never forget that.

All of that brings me here.  One of the 'brethren' lost his mother to cancer a few days ago.  This weekend, my wife and I made a road trip out to see him and pay our respects at the funeral.  We sat in the back.  He saw us in the back and came over to greet us, telling us the usual "you didn't have to come".  I felt I needed to be there.  I didn't dare go near the casket, and I couldn't go to the graveside memorial.  I wasn't ready to handle that emotionally. 

I just gave him a hug and let him know that I was praying for him and his family.  A lot of times, that is all I need.  A hand on the shoulder or a great big bear hug.  A little reassurance that eventually, everything will be alright. 

Eventually, I'll be able to hug my son again.  I Love You Mason.  I miss you so much.